October 2011 ~ Cooley

In my weekly appearance on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and LaVar Arrington I made some comments regarding Tony Romo.

It's amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that … there's no way that Detroit is gonna drive on you that many times. The only way you're gonna give up that many points is turnovers, right? It was hilarious to watch him throw pick-sixes, too, back to back. I loved it.

The conversation then turned to a hypothetical cage match between Romo and myself, which I insinuated that I would win because of my wrestling background. And now, a joking, lighthearted situation, which in my opinion, has received 15 times the 15 minutes of fame it deserved, warrants my response.

In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career. While I feel an honest respect for all NFL players, I show no remorse in cheering against another team, especially the Cowboys. If it sounded like I was delighted by Tony Romo’s failure last week, I was. Though I do not have a personal vendetta against Romo, my feelings for him had nothing to do with me reveling in a divisional foe blowing the biggest 2nd half lead in the history of it’s proud franchise. Now before the rivalry-igniting defense of my comments, I would like to state a couple of facts:

In a new age where professional athletes can “engage” with their fans like never before, it has become evident that the NFL is an entertainment-based business. Though players earn their worth on the football field, there’s not a player in the league unfamiliar with the media. And as a player who has made the choice to share my real personality with the fan base, I make a clear choice with expressing my political incorrectness as an entertaining attempt to engage as a real person. I will not apologize if my sense of humor and hint of sarcasm is difficult to ascertain by the more serious NFL supporters. I will never make an apology to any offended Dallas fans and I expect every Redskin to cheer when the Cowboys screw up.

That said, after seeing the frenzy of peevish Cowboy fan banter over the past 24 hours I have to say that the peculiar defense of “America's quarterback” has completely blown me away. From genius talking heads like Skip Bayless and former Maryland great Norman Esiason to the bible beating backwoods bullies, it's very clear that a cult like group of Dallas supporters has emerged to stand in defense of the epic Tony Romo. To them, my tongue-and-cheek opinions scream sacrilege and idiocy. The funny thing is I was genuinely having fun during my weekly radio appearance in D.C. with two guys I feel comfortable with that understand both the context and who I am as a person. I wish more people could get that.

Finally, those of you that responded on Twitter, you made this easy. Your clumsy charm and the outpouring of the intelligent tweets has inspired me to feed the fire of an NFL rivalry that seems in need the extra fuel. Thank you for caring so much. Especially those that threatened to burn my house down, choke me to death, and see me have a career ending injury. For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:

@therealskipbayless Chris Cooley looks foolish saying he loved seeing Romo "choke" like that, after what Romo did the week before in 4th q to his Redskins.

Cute rant Skip. I love reporters who take a fearless stance against anyone and everyone, and never make knee jerk statements like you. I presume you gained your low level of concern after you have literally polarized yourself from 90% of players and coaches in professional sports. You’re definitely right to scream judgment without apprehension. I was clearly being lame brained to root against my biggest rival. Keep going crazy on First Take, because that is clearly not foolish, its just good TV.

@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk shit to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.

Google me bitch. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.

@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!

I am laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns.

@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much shit yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire

Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid. I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking shit.”

@thetrovester who TF is chris cooley to rip on anyone? how many rings does he have again? Asshole

Hypocritical statement, but I will flip it just for fun. Who TF are you and how many rings do you have? Genius…

@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.

Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.

@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.

Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. But I guess if you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough too.

@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.

Zach, I’m pretty sure enrolling in any university ends the high school nothing thing. If it makes you smile though, I’m sure you’re a real all-star. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.

@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!

Since your online picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. Which is exactly four pounds more than Romo’s listed weight. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.

@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little bitch. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him

Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough to your friends though. So that’s cool.

@rocketmanking is The Cooley Zone what you started calling your spot on the bench after Fred Davis took your job?

As much everyone wants to say I’m a bench warmer, I’ve managed to play more than 70% of the plays this year. That is 100% more plays than our team or team doctors told me I would play 4 games into this season. No biggie though. And Fred Davis is awesome.

@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser

Dumb comment. Already been addressed.

@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.

Many of my friends concur with this. I just call it like I see it.

@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?

Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? (Note: If you’re going to use “coozie” do not credit Penthouse forums via 1988 as the source.)

@A_PFL_Nigga CHRIS COOLEY IS A BITCH ASS NIGGA!!!

And I thought Scott was throwing words around willy-nilly.

@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens jizz.

I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need? What kind of test did you pass to acquire your status?

Again, thanks to the onslaught of support for the Cowboys fledgling QB Tony Romo for making this an easy post to write. Tomorrow … Skip Bayless … It’s on.